There are several ways in which people can use the Divorce laws in order to commit revenge against their former partner. I have personally been a victim of many forms of financial sabotage , extortion, and other forms of financial abuse committed against me and my children at the hands of my spouse. After mysteriously receiving an article that encapsulated the severity of the abuse that I had endured over the last 4 years since my separation from my spouse, I felt validated and vindicated with the resources to assist me in finally releasing the shame of being a victim and becoming empowered enough to share my story with the world. That inspirational article can be found here :https://apple.news/
I have been Divinely guided to speak up about the injustices that I've faced with the view to make others aware of the ways in which legal system in specific states can unknowingly enable spouses to commit financial abuse by abusing the power given to them by the state over all assets that the state defines as marital irrespective of who actually owns, manages, and pays for those assets. In the state of Florida, marital assets include any assets that were created during the marriage and do not take into consideration which spouse created, purchased, and manages the assets or the purpose of those assets. In my case, the assets that are deemed as marital are real property that I developed, designed, and managed as a rental enterprise. This rental portfolio is used for vacation rentals and long term rentals and I am compensated as the CFO and CEO of said enterprise for the development , design, and management of these properties.
According to Florida State law, my spouse has access to half the value of those assets even if he did not contribute to the creation, ownership, management or costs of ownership of those assets. Additionally, he has the legal rights to sabotage the integrity of the properties by not making payments to the lenders, insurers, tax agencies, employees, and all entities that are required to maintain the operational effectiveness and efficiency of said properties. In my case, my spouse intentionally took action to undermine my ability to make the payments required to maintain the properties and to compensate my salary as an employee of the Business that owns and manages the properties. Had it not been for the ingenuity and assistance of family, friends, lenders, and attorneys that worked with me in navigating the financial impediments created by my spouse, I can definitely say that I would be homeless, would not have the means to take care of our two children, and would have lost my entire business by way of the abuse committed at the hands of my spouse. I am now using my voice, the wisdom gained , and my platform in order to make other women aware of the potential dangers that can arise from leaving an abusive relationship through the legal process of divorce. To that end, here are a few major highlight from the article I mentioned in my opening summary that resonate with my storyline and can hopefully provide others that are considering the divorce process with information about how the abuser abuses the power granted by the legal process and therefore create contingency plans to protect themselves from these sinister behaviors during the Divorce process.
1.)Controlling and Limiting How Money is Used: The Financial abuser limits the victim’s access to money forcing them to be completely dependent on them . The abuser also determines how and why funds should be used irrespective of how their decisions impact the victim.
My spouse controlled how I could gain access to funds to support myself by way of the threatening to adversely affect my business’ revenue and expenses. My business is the only means of me deriving income and he used this reliance as a means of further compromising my ability to earn a living.He refused to provide any form of spousal support and an adequate amount of child support. By controlling how I could manage my assets, this put me in a subordinated, codependent position to him which resulted in me having to beg him for funds that I needed for my household and to justify all of my expenses. As someone who was formerly a recipient of the funds from his salary for household use, not only was no longer able to receive any form of spousal support and the funds that he decided to provide me with for supporting the kids was completely determined by and controlled by him. This left me feeling as though I had to do everything he said in order to have some form of financial security. If I did not accepts any of these unreasonable terms, he would threaten to sell my business.
2.) Sabotaging or Preventing Gainful Employment: The abuser sabotages or prevents the victim from getting or maintaining a job, keeping them financially dependent.
My spouse sabotaged my ability as CFO of Divine Property Developers Intl LLC to operate the business in ways that would allow for me to be gainfully employed. He did this specifically by intentionally engaging in acts that increased the costs of debts exponentially by refusing to contribute to paying the debts, refusing to allow for me to refinance higher interest debt, consolidate debts or access any other contingency plans to alleviate the costs of increased and/or accelerated debt.
a.) Abusing of Power : The Nuance of Salaried Spouses versus Self Employed Spouse.
My spouse is salaried and therefore as it pertains to Florid law, the Company he works for is not considered "marital "and therefore I could not take any direct actions on the operations or financial positioning of the company he works for that could impact his salary in any shape, form or fashion. To the contrary, as the self-employed spouse , The Company I worked for I own (Divine Property Developers Intl LLC) and its assets are considered marital, and as such, as my spouse , he had the power to control how much salary I was paid by taking actions such as sabataging the business' financially and operationally, and undermining the business ability to pay my salary for services rendered. As a result of actions the my spouse intentionally took against the business financial stability and contingency plans, I had to take a pay cut of over $2500 per month. There were even several months where I was not compensated at all.
3.)Forcing Debt on The Victim: The abuser coerces the victim into paying all debts associated with all marital assets threatening the victim that if he/she didn’t pay it, that he/she would lose the investment entirely by forceful foreclosure, tax liens, bankruptcy, or other forms of legal actions to retrieve outstanding debts.The abuser forces the victim to be responsible for paying all debts & Controlling terms of Debts Repayment: The abuser threatens to destroy the victim’s credit score or financial reputation by forcing all the financial responsibilities on the victim.
My spouse refused to pay the debts associated with the business assets which the Law defines as marital assets . He threatened to allow the IRS to put a lien on my properties, or allow my home to go into foreclosure and lose my entire business if I did not continue to pay for all the costs of the business even though he refused to contribute and yet would continue to pursue through legal action 50% of the value of those assets.
4.)Misusing Victim’s Funds: The abuser takes or uses the victim’s money or resources for personal gain without consent.
My spouse refused to pay market rent for the apartment that he rented which was a form of sabotaging the business’ ability to operate optimally and furthermore sabotaging the business’ ability to pay my salary. He also refused to pay rent or vacate the property at all when I could no longer pay for business expenses that were had his name on the title but he had not ever been financially responsible for, further impairing the operational soundness and financial stability of the business.
5.)Forcing Asset Carrying Costs on Victim: The Financial abuser forces the victim to bear the costs of repairs or replacements, draining their financial resources and limiting their independence.
My spouse refused to pay for any of the carrying costs associated with all the properties that were part of the business . The only time period in which he did make payments related to the costs of owning the assets was for 4 months . This was only after being ordered to do so by the judge and when one of the properties was in danger of foreclosure.
6.)Using Costs of Legal Litigation To Sabatage The Victim’s Financial & Emotional Stability: The abuser initiates litigation processes to delay resolution, initiate multiple hearings, and rescinds offers multiple times to drag out the legal process.
My spouse consistently delayed wrapping up the divorce process for the last 4 years by verbally agreeing to multiple settlement offers and then reneging on each offer. The process of constantly drafting settlement offers, negotiating, and then reneging on agreements was very expensive because I had to pay my attorney to draft the offers each time.Additionally, he and his attorney committed verbal attacks, slander, and set up hearings that required that I consistently pay my attorney for representation and consultation , thus further draining my financial resources on attorney fees.